Feeling 6:

Today I feel… erk’d

picture me, highly annoyed with 2023 and the events that have occurred. While leaning back in the driver seat of my car, Starring at the interior ceiling at 5am.

Wow! Annoyed is an understatement right now y’all. Life has decided to tap on my mental capacity that allows me to exist in a happy space.

Mentally, i am drained and wondering why me? Whats next? And when will it be over? But Ive been extremely intentional about doing things that comfort me and make me happy! One of those happy spaces that I’ve found is a youtube vlogger by the name of Jnay daily (please check her out). Janae stated in one of her videos “all things have to come to an end. Take your day in 10 minute increments.”this may not speak to you how it spoke to me, but in the moment that I heard it, it damn near saved me from a panic attack. Janae, thank you for your light and fun energy at a time that some of us are struggling.

As I wait for this lil storm I’m going through to pass…… god is still good.

Intense thought: when we approach a glitch in our day to day life that uproots our life, can we (i) be grateful for being able to rearrange things in my life to adjust to that trouble. Sometimes we focus solely on the problem and forget to be thankful for being able to accommodate that issue.

Rant: this past weekend a bitch hit my car and kept it pushing. People are triflin’ and don’t care about anyone else’s shit! This situation triggered all type of stress. And the fact that I’m a dramatic ass bitch, I’ve felt like my life is over and everyone hates me. Then I decided to travel down a rabbit hole of negativity that tells me how this situation will negatively affect me in the future, to, I’m never gonna be able to get another car. Then I said, “why not just keep self destructing!?” Next, I sat and thought about how broke I was and how far I should be in life and what I haven’t accomplished, that I should have already accomplished. shall I continue?

so yeah, as you can see I’ve been in my head a lot. But I will pat myself on the back, because usually, while feeling those feels I can never think of a positive route to take to get me out of that funk. But this time i immediately adjusted my thoughts to what makes me happy and what can change my energy.

I’ve found that watching people on YouTube with light, energetic, honest and fun personalities really help change my energy, it puts me in a better head space and I am so grateful.

Also, colors help me. let me explain… my comforter is black (favorite color) but the perception and energy black gives, is typically dark and negative. I changed my comforter to yellow, a much “happier” color. The yellow color brightened my room and mood. Try it! Sometimes Something so small can make a huge impact, you just have to find those small nuggets that make you happy!

message to you: when you are facing a difficult situation, remember it has to come to an end and also remember to train your brain to find the things that make you happy, in spite of a storm! And Always be kind to yourself.

picart: i chose this beautiful painting by Aaron Allen to show how I dealt with my emotions this past week. Crying isn’t a sign of weakness, it is healing and powerful. Cry, it’s okay to.

seeyabye1.

image: Aaron allen

I don’t need any of your grammatical corrections. this is my free space and you are not my instructor.