Feeling 4:

Today I feel… socially drained

picture me, buried under the covers, watching a comedy special-trying my best to make light of how I’m feeling. Fake laughing, deep thinking and over eating.

Now that Christmas has passed, we can unplug (unless you’re one of those New Year celebrators). My Social anxiety has increased so much in my 30s and I am struggling.

What is social anxiety? Symptoms may include excess fear of situations in which one may be judged, worry about embarrassment or humiliation, or concern about offending someone (Mayo Clinic).

Social anxiety for me, affects my everyday routines. Interacting and having simple conversations become extremely difficult to sustain. I’ve never been the most social but before, I never panicked when conversing with someone I’ve known my entire life. Wondering what I’ll say next. Trying my hardest to avoid that awkward silence moment. Hoping I don’t say something that I think is a compliment, but an insult to them. All these thoughts live rent free in my head with every person I encounter.

I use to enjoy family and friends time, thoroughly. But now, I rather stay in my room, talk to my plants and avoid humans. I find it disturbing to be okay with no human contact at all, it scares me. I watch and listen to a lot true crime shows and podcast and these characteristics are too close to the people who create terrible crimes and I want it changed!

How I chose to make the changes? Once I cancelled two events that I annually look forward to attending, I knew the depression and anxiety reached a new level. I made the tough decision and changed my therapist. The therapist I was seeing was great BUT I think I needed a new and refreshed opinion on my diagnosis and treatment plan. I am now waiting on the appointment with my new therapist. I’m extremely excited for my future and I haven’t even met the individual that’s going to assist me with it but I have that much faith.

If you begin to notice differences dealing with your mental health, please take the steps you need to feel better and get the help you need! No one can help you, how you can help you! Do not miss out on those happy and exciting moments of your life because of a mental health issue, that can be addressed and fixed!

seeyabye. 1.

image: artpce

I don’t need any of your grammatical corrections. this is my free space and you are not my instructor.